The room you're avoiding (and why you keep circling it)

Is there a room you're avoiding walking into, waiting for someone to tell you what's already true?

Let me share how the Quiet Critic showed up at two big moments early on in a pivotal role during my corporate career.

First Moment

I was about 28 and recently promoted into this role, and I was preparing for my first sales call trip. The day before I was set to travel, the account executive I was working with told me our new president was an alumnus and he was going to attend. I was nervous about this call, and on top of it, I had not met our new president.

As I sat on the plane, I thought about all of my sales calls prior to this trip had been on the phone. However, this was the first in-person call, and the Quiet Critic decided this was the perfect time to remind me about one of my first job interviews fresh out of college. I was 21, and I saw an opportunity that I thought would a great chance to get my foot in the door and to learn and grow from there. As soon as I sat down, and before the interview even started, the hiring manager told me I was too pretty to be taken seriously by anyone my parents' age or older, and he ended the interview right there.

And as I drove from the airport to the meeting, those words from the hiring manager crept back in: would the client or this new president take me seriously? Then I met my account executive for the first time, face to face, and he said: “You look a lot younger than I thought.” I remember blushing and thinking, “Great. This is just what I needed.” I asked him if he thought that would be an issue. The AE said, “Yes, you look young. But you’re also representing the data side of the house and that’s technology, so your youth works for you. And besides, the second you start talking, none of that will matter. You're smart and know what you’re doing, and I’m glad you’re here because they need your expertise.”

Although I didn’t have a name for it then, I did realize that the moment I started speaking in that meeting, the Quiet Critic stopped whispering doubt and dimming my light.

Second Moment

The second moment was after I had been in the role for at least a year and thriving working one-on-one with our account executives and their clients. I loved it, and then an opportunity presented itself when I was asked to speak to the entire group for the first time. Even though I don't remember what the topic was, I do remember that it was 17 of them and one of me. The same question surfaced: would they care about what I had to say and take me seriously?

As I was waiting for my turn, a colleague I respected saw I was nervous. When I confessed that I was, she said: “Jen, everyone in that room already knows you. They like you. They trust you. You're the subject matter expert. They don't know what you know, and that's exactly why you're the one speaking. Trust that they want to hear it.”

She was there exactly when I needed to step into this big moment with confidence in my expertise and gifts. And I remember leaving that meeting feeling like a different person than when I went in.

If this sounds familiar and you'd like to silence the Quiet Critic, let's talk about what your version of that moment could look like. [Book a conversation →]