5 things to STOP doing as an author and business owner

I believe that in order for you to have the impact you want to have, the reach you want to have, there are some beliefs or actions that need to stop. To do this, we need to recognize them and make the concerted decision to shift directions.

These shifts take time and grace, but the fact that you’re willing to make the decision to shift them, is huge. It's not something everyone can or wants to do. The fact that you do shows your courage and willingness to grow as a business owner, so you do have the impact and reach you want for your books and message.

Stop dimming your light and not allowing yourself to take up space

This can feel really intimidating because it means allowing yourself to really be seen. To really put yourself out there. Part of the challenge here is that we might not realize we’ve dimmed our light or not taken up all the space we can, but if we get quiet, you can feel it on the inside that you’re meant for more. If you’re feeling that, and the idea of owning your greatness and getting visible feels like an invisible wall you’re running into, then kudos to you because you’re ready for your next level. That comfort zone looks different for all of us, but the one thing that’s the same is that we reach a point where it’s no longer comfortable, and that’s because we’ve outgrown where we are, but we’ve not left it yet. It’s possible your comfort zone is keeping you stuck because you’re scared your idea, your next book or event or opportunity, won’t work. However, I would tell you now, just as I’ve said repeatedly on this show in season one, you were given your book for a reason.

You are the right messenger for it. It doesn’t serve anyone to play small or keep your light turned on low, especially yourself.

Stop comparing your progress to someone else’s and using it put your progress down

The fact that you’re continuing to show up, do the work, honor what you need, and pursue your big why is powerful. It’s enough. The steps you take - small or big - is relative because what’s a small step for you might feel like a huge leap for someone else. In either case, it’s a step forward and it shows that you’re making decision after decision, and taking the appropriate actions, to move towards getting your message out into the world. The fact you wrote a book, went through the publishing process and have a book available for purchase is huge! And the fact that you keep figuring out how to get your book in front of new readers is powerful. It means you have faith in what you created and why. So rather than judge your progress, remember your journey is yours alone. Others can walk with you, but it’s up to you to own your greatness, get visible, and share your message.

Stop viewing setbacks and disappointments as failures

Instead, shift your perspective to that of curiosity. I get that the setback or disappointment stung because you did try something, you took a chance, and depending on what it was, it could have even been a big risk. You might have spent a lot of time, money, effort, energy, and maybe even sleepless nights or tears working on this idea, story line, project, presentation, or aspect of your business. You said “yes” to this idea which meant “no”s to other ideas or ways to spend your time, money, effort, and energy.

I’ve had that happen before in my business where I took a huge leap - at least huge to me - yet the ROI ended up not being what I had thought or hoped for. It took some time to regain my footing; however, without that experience I wouldn’t be where I am. That experience was instrumental in helping me grow in ways that some successes would not have yielded as well as better serve my clients, audience, and readers.

So consider this: You have new information as a result of trying, so how might you move forward in a different way? How might you assess, tweak and try again?

Stop ignoring that inner nudge

Even when it’s not overtly saying “no.” That “meh” is still a “no” for now.

Although I’ve talked about this topic before on the show as well as in my latest book, Author Stylist Guide: Own Your Greatness, Get Visible, and Share Your Message, it bears repeating here. When you get a clear “yes” or “no” feeling about a decision, do you honor it the first time? Or do you rationalize it one way or the other, and ignore that first feeling?

Then when that inner knowing feels almost too quiet - so not clear and more of a lukewarm feeling - it can make it easier to skim over and ignore whatever it’s trying to tell you. Consider that this means you need to get quiet and dig deeper.

There are different ways to unearth what your inner voice is telling you when it seems like it’s muffled. Regardless if it’s a clear “yes” or “no” or if it’s taken a little more effort to hear what your inner guidance is telling you, honor it. Trust it.

Stop putting yourself on the back burner

This can look like too many projects or opportunities you’ve said “yes” and or ignoring that inner voice when it said “no” or “not now.” It could look like a fear of charging for your time or increasing your fees. It could look like saying “yes” to everything because you are worried you’ll miss out. It could look like not scheduling time away from the office just for you, so you refill your cup. It can feel uncomfortable to say “no” or to raise your fees or make sure you are making time that’s just for you. But when you stop putting yourself on the back burner, that will shift things for you starting on the inside and radiating outward. You’ll feel it in your writing, how you show up in your business, and how you show up for yourself, family and friends.

Each of these five things to stop can feel challenging to do, much less be consistent in, so you bounce back faster when it does happen. If you know one or more of these things are in your way of growing your business and reaching your readers and clients the way you want, then I encourage you to be willing to get support because your book and message were given to you precisely because YOU are the right person (and the only one) who can share it.

Want to go deeper?

I believe if the story came to you, it must come through you to share. You've already done the brave work of writing and publishing. Now it's time to show up powerfully as the thought leader you are, so your message reaches the people who need it most. Because when visibility opportunities arrive — a book signing, a podcast invitation, a speaking engagement — it's not only about the writing anymore. It's about you, fully showing up, as the person behind the work and message.

Author Stylist

Author Stylist Guide: Own Your Greatness, Get Visible, and Share Your Message is for that moment. Not how to get more opportunities — how to make the most of the ones that come to you, so you show up with confidence, shine in the room, and let your book and message reach the people who actually need them. You already have the courage and the gifts that got you here. This book helps you use them. https://www.jennifermilius.com/books

Want to go beyond the book and let your message reach the people who need it most without downplaying your authority or hiding your power? The Author Stylist Services and Resources will help you show up authentically as the expert you are, and when you do there's a joy and confidence that radiates. That's what I help you tap into - so your voice, your message, and your work can make the impact they're meant to make. Author Stylist Services and Resources: https://www.jennifermilius.com/stylist